Is this really my life?
Five am in the morning and I am sitting on the top of the steps crying. The boy is awake...already. He went to bed at 10:30 p.m. and he is awake. What is wrong with this child? What is wrong with me? It must be the genes. His sister did stuff like this too; she grew out of it, but she is still difficult. She is thirteen now. It's genetic; I know it is my fault. It is my genes. What am I doing wrong? I don't have a handle on it...on anything; I just react all day long. I can't keep up with him. He is all over the place, constantly running, into everything, he never stops and is so anxious. He is driving me crazy. I am so tired. I just want a few minutes for me. I just don't like him, I don't like my life, I don't like anything. How can it be, oh God, I feel so guilty, so bad. I am going to lose my mind, I know it. How can this beautiful three-year-old boy with those big brown eyes be such a disaster? When is this going to end? I don't like him! Now I feel really bad for even thinking that. How can you not like your own child…....it's me, all my fault. I am a horrible mother. I can't do this anymore.
That was me two years ago. I had this beautiful three year old baby boy who was persistent, nonstop, never slept, nervous, broke everything in site, climbed on everything (especially things that should not be climbed on), and pitched temper tantrums.
My son, Liam is five years old now, a delightful thoughtful, kind and gently smiling child. He sleeps well, loves to play, is eager to please, calm, in control, happy and energetic. Temperamentally he is still persistent, focused and high strung. However, these traits are much easier to channel into positive areas.
What brought on the change?
In my research I found a strong correlation between food, vitamins and behavior. I had been a Registered Nurse for many years and was in the process of getting my doctorate in Naturology. I had worked in the psychiatric field and just felt that there had to be another way, other than drugs, to deal with my child and other children like him.
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